Post Desenzano

Where do I start today, other than to repeat myself – when you fall down, just get back up again!

My goal as your role model is to give you someone to look up to, an example of someone in pursuit of her own excellence. I want to show you my bravery and dedication; in hopes that you will become as courageous and focused to achieve your very own goals.

To tell my story, I cannot only talk to you about success - a large part is learning from personal struggle and hardship. One of the most simple and sound pieces of advice I have been handed in my years as an athlete and over achiever, is this: if it were easy, everyone would do it!

In Desenzano, I was caught up in my nerves and my nerves got the best of me. I let myself and my coach down and I am in the middle of picking myself up and learning that this is merely my new touchstone of when things get rough.

Here is the thing: It is easy to sit around and fantasize about what you want. The hard part is going after it. Interestingly enough, one of my fears (on a long list) might simply be a fear of success. I have a fear of results; I set a high standard for myself and while I think I am able, I do not always believe it. When I was in Desenzano, I was focused on my fear. I was focused on the consequences of failure. Let me tell you, this was overwhelming.

However, I have taken a step back. I have accepted my mistake, as if it truly were a mistake. But really, it was a moment I had a chance to learn about myself. I learnt that I need to look at the numbers before a competition and have a set goal for each event and overall. I know this now, and it does not feel overwhelming, nor out of reach.

A fun fact about fear is, once it is identified, it turns into something else and hopefully on it is way to becoming irrelevant. As for worrying about what I imagine “other” people to think of me, I am reminded of a story from a fellow old university teammate. He recently shared his story and it put this point into perspective:

One of the things that I remember about our former coach is that every once in a while, when I was sitting and stretching before or after practice, Coach would walk by and say, “Hey, guess who was asking about you today?” I would answer, “Who?” And then Coach would say, “No one.”

I chose this career as an athlete for myself. I work hard because I love this sport. I think that what is important to inspire others is sharing the fact that you falter and doubt your ability to carry on, but that you pick yourself up again stronger than before, doubly committed to your goal, and you press on to the end.

Being in pursuit of excellence means we set a goal, make a plan, and work toward it. However, every now and then we need to look around, drink it in, because this is it. I have taken a moment to think of my accomplishments to date and be proud of me; know that I have an inner strength that will bring me through this current struggle and get back to enjoying competition.

As of today, it is just under two weeks till Arles, France. I am using visualization exercises to prepare myself for what it will be like at the start of the events and find confidence to relax. I will find a way to tap into that strength that has gotten me this far and hopefully this will unlock all the training and preparation to be fearless out there!

Your Athlete,
Susan

p.s. My foot is on the mend. I have been to physiotherapy and the joint is in place and now it just needs time for the tendons to heal. I have started to run again, slowly for now, but by the end of this coming week we hope to start with some explosive work and sprints. I think there will be some pain, but overall, the foot will be ready for Arles!